About the great art of celebrating a wedding according to your own ideas...

Maya & Patrick, Leipzig

When you read the following lines, you will most probably ask yourself how I came to specialise in weddings in my profession. And that's because I really have a lot to criticise about the concept of a traditional western wedding. But just like in any movement, there needs to be critics who provide food for thought so that the world becomes a little better in the end, and that's exactly how I see myself. Hey, I'm Lilli, wedding revolutionary. I'm sure I'll go into more detail on the various points in future posts, but for now I'll start with a rough overview. And for that, I'd like to ask a question. Who do you celebrate a wedding for anyway? The logical answer would be - for the bride and groom. And the honest answer? All the weddings I've been to have been customised a little to the wishes of the families, a little to the needs of the guests and well, now it's starting to get critical for me, because they were also partly celebrated for the external image, a little for Pinterest and Instagram peppered with a touch of social conventions and also a little for the guilty conscience towards those you haven't seen for ages but somehow had to invite and without knowing it and above all, for the big, fat, completely overpriced wedding industry, which always manages to impose its own will on its supposed customers.

One tip that I would like to give to brides and grooms is, first of all, before you plunge into the wonderful world of weddings, to think together about what is actually important to you and then write it down. Once you are influenced by all the other people's thoughts, you quickly get to the point of celebrating a wedding that is no longer your own, but just another one of many that fits into pattern X. Ask yourself, do you really want the neighbor's friend's sister's third cousin there, or do you feel an obligation to him? Do you really need a candy bar or does it just seem like that because there was one at the last 27 weddings you were invited to and you obviously need a candy bar if you want to be someone in the wedding business.

The second tip, or rather the second question I would like to ask. Who the fuck came up with the idea that a wedding should only last one day? All that stress, all that money spent and all for just one day? Ever thought about the fact that sometimes families get to know each other properly for the first time at a wedding? How is that supposed to happen in one day? How can you squeeze the whole programme into one day and still have time for food, let alone real emotions? I think a lot of brides cry because all the stress is off them or because they are terribly hungry and not because they have time to deal with their romantic feelings on that day. A day, you know it yourself, it flies by and what a shame if that's true of your wedding day too? Wouldn't it be a nice idea to spread out the wedding day and to rent a room somewhere in a quiet spot in the most intimate circle and celebrate a wedding weekend there in peace and quiet? The guests will thank you if they don't have to get up at 6 a.m. to get dressed up and plan enough time to get there, and then at the end of the day they are expected to escalate appropriately after a 12-hour day at the party. And you'll thank yourselves too, because time is the best gift we have to give in life.

This dress was bought from the second hand app “Vinted”.

And now the third major topic. Sustainability. Weddings are so fucking unsustainable. Everything is bought for one day and most of it loses its usefulness afterwards. You could do so much good for the world by buying second-hand wedding clothes (or as a guest), for example. There are great opportunities and beautiful things! Some of my pictures are with second hand dresses. And flowers. Why buy cut flowers for so much money that wilt after a few days and are thrown away when you can buy potted plants that you can put in the garden or give to your guests. If this topic is close to your heart, just ask yourself in between - is there a sustainable alternative?