Church wedding or free ceremony?

Many couples have not attended church for decades, let alone can they still identify with the institution of the church at all, and yet the question is still on the minds of many young couples. Why? The answer is simple. For many, a church wedding is still the epitome of a romantic wedding. I would like to change that. In case you are sensitive about the topic, you'd better read the next blog entry, because I have made it my mission to counter this avoidably romantic idea with plenty of criticism and then explain the advantages of a free wedding ceremony. Don't get me wrong, this is not about people who actively practise their faith and really feel connected to the church. It's about those who see the church as a nice assecoire to enhance their wedding. I would also like to emphasise that I am referring to Christianity at this point.

Lesley and Marcel got married in a small church in a village near Göttingen. The celebration then took place in the family's beautiful garden.

I would like to start with my only pro argument. Churches are often very beautiful buildings and to be honest, I'm a bit of a sucker for organ music. But now to the cons.

1. the construction of all these beautiful buildings was only possible because of, let's call it the "criminal history of Christianity". The thought of inquisition, missionary work, exploitation, wars and torture seems rather unromantic to me.

2. the homophobic and misogynistic attitude of the church seems equally uncharitable to me. Would you like to be married in the context of an institution that condemns same-sex love or is allowed to dismiss a divorced woman with impunity?

3. have you ever thought about the fact that the wedding ceremony, at least in the case of Catholics, was performed by a person who, at least in theory, has no idea about love as it exists between a married couple? Isn't that a bit hypocritical?

4. the following is probably a matter of opinion, but do you really find it romantic if someone also reads from the Bible at your wedding? Just a quick reminder. The Bible is cruel and inhuman. It celebrates the extermination of entire peoples, advocates slavery and capital punishment and, oh yes, even the murder of babies. Just a little food for thought...

And free marriage? As you can probably already guess at this point, I'm a big fan. And that's because, as the name suggests, the free wedding ceremony gives a couple the opportunity to organise the actual centrepiece of the wedding according to their own wishes.

Victoria and Alexander had a micro wedding in the patio of a bar in Cologne's trendy Ehrenfeld neighbourhood. The ceremony took place in the most intimate of circles, followed by a celebration with all their friends in the party cellar.

It starts with the choice of speaker. This can be a professional wedding speaker or simply a good friend. I find this option so wonderful, as a stranger will usually never be able to gain such intimate insights into your relationship as someone who has known you for a long time. The closeness and connection to this person alone can ensure that emotions arise all by themselves. Be it through stories that you have long forgotten or the fact that your beloved speaker occasionally loses their voice or a tear rolls down their cheek. In my opinion, nothing beats authenticity. This also applies to the location. And almost anything is possible here. A free wedding ceremony at your favourite lake? Or in your favourite bar? In your grandmother's rose garden? In the flower meadow of an old manor or, if you want something a little more decadent, perhaps in a castle? I don't think I need to go on, because it's clear that there are no limits. You can simply decide everything yourself or decide that you want to be surprised by your loved ones. You can organise the free wedding ceremony exactly as it suits you.

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